Power Profile > My Visibility is My Business
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My Visibility is My Business One woman’s strong sense of self-belief is the foundation of a successful company where the modus operandi is minding other people’s business. Words: Catherine Murray It was 1996 when Julia Hartley Moore quietly began investigating the private lives and public lies of spouses under suspicion. Her company Arbeth & Co., Limited now plays a major role in bringing all truths to the surface, not only in cases of infidelity but also in fraud, missing persons, birth parent searches and employee malpractice. As a female with no police background, Julia’s entrance onto the scene disturbed the historical contour of a male-dominated industry. “I had a meeting with a couple of private investigators because I thought I should probably find out a bit about the industry,” recalls Julia. “I was just told blankly that I couldn’t do it – you had to have a police background. To this day I’m not particularly recognised amongst the other guys out there. But then it just goes to show if you’re determined and you believe in yourself then you can do anything, because it wasn’t easy.” As with any new venture, Julia’s challenge was to bring attention to her business, an ironic concept given the type of work she undertook. “There are a lot of private investigators out there,” she admits. “But being a girl – and it doesn’t hurt to be a bit glam – I got noticed, and I used every bit of advertising as my marketing. Whereas again I was told you can’t do this, you can’t do that, I thought if you’re clever and structure your business around it you can do anything. My visibility is my business.” At the time some people questioned the future of a private investigator who had just blown her cover. However, it was a deliberate move by Julia, who made business decisions that allowed her to continue being in the public eye. Concentrating on other areas such as negotiations and extortion, Julia hired ex-police to take over the surveillance work. Julia’s television series, Private Investigators then hit the small screen, and over the past 15 years she has made many other local and international appearances on television and radio, and as a motivational speaker. Julia also adds ‘author’ to her armoury, writing the best sellers Julia Moore P.I., Infidelity: Exploding the Myths and Suddenly Single. Being told ‘you can’t’ or ‘you shouldn’t’ has been a recurring theme throughout Julia’s life, a theme that in each case has only strengthened her resolve to prove otherwise. Julia was launched into motherhood with the birth of her daughter at the age of 15, followed swiftly by marriage and twin girls at 16. Girls at that time were rarely allowed to keep their babies born out of wedlock, and Julia was again told she couldn’t raise her own child. “But I was thinking, ‘how do you know I can’t?’ I think I can, and I did. I’ve just always known that when I’ve heard ‘I can’t’ I’ve certainly known I can. It’s really having that self-belief, that’s what you need.” Growing up Julia’s childhood was filled with the influences of her parents, who remained a strong source of strength through those tough early times. “They were wonderful, wonderful people who encouraged me to always do whatever it was I wanted to do. They always told me I could do anything as long as I put my mind to it.” When Julia was born her mother was 40 and her father 50, so her parents were considerably older than those of her peers. “Both my parents were academic, and I had a very sheltered childhood. I was taught the violin, ballet and hunting and fishing, all those kinds of things that I thought were normal. I can remember going to a girlfriend’s house and seeing a milk bottle on the table and thinking ‘my gosh’, because in my house you would never see that – there was a jug for milk, there was a dish for the butter. Everything was done properly. I was taught deportment and etiquette, which was what girls were taught back in the day, but not so much in New Zealand.” Julia firmly believes that all the trials and tribulations she has experienced – parenthood at a young age, broken relationships and at one point financial disarray – have made her what she is today. “I used to wonder why I had been through all I had at such a young age. But there’s a purpose for what we go through. I am an eternal optimist.” Looking on the bright side serves Julia well. She is now happily married to television producer Steve Butler, one of the ‘good guys’. Quite content as a single woman in the preceding years, she says their courtship was old-fashioned and evolved at a slow pace. It is refreshing to note that being surrounded by deceit and betrayal has not tainted Julia’s view of relationships one little bit. She knows that there are many good men out there, living lives based on trust and respect. “The good guys make you feel comfortable, there’s a feeling of calm. You never have the little niggles. For example, some guys will just stare at women, some guys will say derogatory things about women, or they may not have a good relationship with their mother or their sister. A man has to respect women.” If those alarm bells are ringing then Julia says it’s time to dig a bit deeper. “Intuition is our warning system, so don’t ignore it,” states Julia. “Guys will often play down what they’re doing. When people are doing things that are bad and they’re caught, they’ll minimise it. They’ll transfer the blame, and it comes back to being your problem – that’s a classic sign. They are the type of guys you want to steer clear of, and they show themselves very early on. They’ll show their behaviour, you’ll feel it and they won’t be able to help themselves. It’s just when emotions kick in that we tend to not want to see it.” It’s really all about trust, something that Julia says is like virginity – you only lose it once. “When you’ve got nothing to hide, you hide nothing,” she muses. “You’ve got to be transparent. People confuse secrecy with privacy and there’s a big difference.” For those whose past is tainted by indiscretions there is always the opportunity for change assures Julia. “Past behaviour is a great barometer, particularly when you’ve done something dodgy in your life. But anybody can change – they have to want to though. Change has to come from the person. A big mistake women make is trying to change men, trying to fix things – but you can’t and it’s not your job. The only person that can change and fix things is the person themselves.” Julia finds that when faced with the facts and accompanying evidence most people can handle the truth, even if they struggle to believe it at first. “It’s just human nature to want to see the best, and to believe the best. When it comes to personal things, guys deal with them quite quickly. Most women stay in dysfunctional relationships. They’ll come up with a raft of excuses – children, money, everything – but they are excuses. That’s the one thing I’ve done too. I’ve lost everything financially, and that’s when I went to England and started again. It’s a matter of courage in a way and believing in yourself that you can actually do something about it.” Julia asserts that the work she does is anything but negative – and it’s certainly never boring. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone with better work stories. “We provide a service. When you’re helping people they’re very appreciative and very grateful for what you’ve done, and it makes it all worthwhile. My work is so varied; there are never two jobs the same. People used to say to me work must be so interesting, and I used to play it down and say, ‘Nah, it’s just a job’. But actually it’s not. We travel all around the world and we work everywhere. It really is one hell of an interesting job.” As for her secret for happy living, Julia literally does what she wants. “I do whatever I want to do, I eat whatever I want to eat, I drink whatever I want to drink. I don’t believe in not having fun, because you don’t know how long you’re here for. I just think you’ve got to make the most of life.” Julia’s tips for living an authentic life
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